Two Dimensions and ACME products

I am... insatiably curious with a penchant for mischief often too strange or convoluted to be humorous, but sometimes it is anyway.

Truly I am yours,
Samuel
Gentleman, Scholar, Part-time Astronaut

Anonymous asked: I am summoning you to my couch for netflix, but you take up a lot of resources. It's good though, because it means not many other people can hang with you like I do. Ya.

I don’t take that many resources. A stick and a brick will do. Throw in a sheep and we’re golden.

Hey friends, I’m biking to the coast this weekend: out to cape lookout state park Saturday, kick it at the awesome hiker/biker campground/the beach Sunday, bike back on Monday. Anyone want to come along for the ride? Easy pace, but a full day of riding (71 miles each way) with a few somewhat experienced friends. Into it?

Anonymous asked: Summoning thingy: A good book A strand of gold made from hay An infinity stone Jane Foster's lab notes A poem Harp strings :)

Sweet baby Jesus on bike, with the power of an infinity stone and the knowledge of Jane Foster, where the hell are you summoning me?! At least I’ll have a book for the ride.

iamacartooncharacter:

What do you call a cow that’s undecided about its skirt length?

Udder may hem.

What do you call a cow that’s undecided about its skirt length?

thorinobsessed:

monumentofallyoursins:

psychoticrambling:

falling-through-the-time-vortex:

kamachameleon:

k-hiq:

skylark11:

a lake in montana whose water is so clear it appears shallow, when really its over 100 feet deep!

this is actually kinda terrifying because what if someone doesn’t know how deep it is, so they go diving and try to swim to the bottom, but they always seem just out of reach, so they just keep swimming… and when they realize something’s wrong it’s too late

Imagine seeing a body at the bottom….

tumblr has the ability to turn everything beautiful into something terrifying 

What if you see a skeleton at the bottom of what appears to be a shallow part of the lake. As you dive down to check them out you notice the water is deeper than you originally thought. Much deeper. You come to realize that there is no way these remains could be human, you’re not even half-way down and already the skull already looks bigger than your car


This started so tranquil and then it turned into Friday the 13th


Wouldn’t her inflatable thing-a-bob’s shadow be smaller if the water were that deep?

thorinobsessed:

monumentofallyoursins:

psychoticrambling:

falling-through-the-time-vortex:

kamachameleon:

k-hiq:

skylark11:

a lake in montana whose water is so clear it appears shallow, when really its over 100 feet deep!

this is actually kinda terrifying because what if someone doesn’t know how deep it is, so they go diving and try to swim to the bottom, but they always seem just out of reach, so they just keep swimming… and when they realize something’s wrong it’s too late

Imagine seeing a body at the bottom….

tumblr has the ability to turn everything beautiful into something terrifying 

What if you see a skeleton at the bottom of what appears to be a shallow part of the lake. As you dive down to check them out you notice the water is deeper than you originally thought. Much deeper. You come to realize that there is no way these remains could be human, you’re not even half-way down and already the skull already looks bigger than your car

This started so tranquil and then it turned into Friday the 13th

Wouldn’t her inflatable thing-a-bob’s shadow be smaller if the water were that deep?

(Source: niftyjaguar, via bruhsandmanties)

first-kiss-since-45:

vikadi:

set of nostalgia drawings by gabriel picolo. i don’t think i have enough space on my tumblr for all his works that i’d like to post.

these are incredible

This is the shit about which, I am all. 

(via lou-ann)

teganeden asked: Summon Sam: Draw a pentagram in climbing chalk and circle it with a bike chain, then place items. North; a can of spray paint, south; a roll of duct tape, east; a 12oz of coffee (for best results, a nutty el Salvador) and west; Corn Stuff Casserole.

Hah! Yes! So good. I actually just made corn stuff this weekend. A hit as always. I made it in muffin form and one dude wrapped a few up to take home because he was worried folks would eat them all bahaha.